Republican candidate update

January 18, 2008

The Republican primary for South Carolina is tomorrow. I love my state. There are saintly people and there are evil people. Attacks ads against Obama, McCain, etc. have been vicious and biased. This is a state that still has many Dixiecrats and they deal in immorality and slander. Even with many antiquated, evil residents, South Carolina is an important state. It’s the first southern state in the primary and the first state with a significant AfAm population.

So lets review the Republican lineup:

Old Man McCain – Straight talk my ass! At this point he can barely walk straight! I like McCain, but he tried to be a mealy-mouthed , party-man early in his campaign. That failed so now he is back to honesty and independent thinking. It may be too late to switch now.
The Libertarian – The party doesn’t know what to make of this man, who preaches true Republican values based on the Constitution and history. They don’t want to hear that they are not on the conservative side of today’s issues. Terrifies the GOP establishment.
Phony Mormony – I don’t believe a word he says. He wants to be president and if money alone can’t buy it, he’ll lie and slander.
Foghorn Leghorn – Hilarious to watch in debates. Looks tired and usually sounds crazy. Needs to go to the house.
The Ghoul – Not campaigning in smaller states that aren’t scared of attacks. Can’t discuss economy, because his campaign is based on terror and a magazine cover.
Huckabee – Can’t spoof that name. Appears to be a true Christian and therefore wants to help the poor as Christians should. Literal interpretations of the Bible and disrespect for the constitution and the scientific method would be disastrous set back for country. Also, terrifies the GOP establishment because he won’t be bought by interest.

I predict Huckabee will win SC.

Their candor and disrespect for the establishment have the GOP scared.

Epilogue:

January 25, 2008

Old Man McCain won over Huckabee. Foghorn’s dismal showing convinced him to head back to the house.

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